This being the last weekend of my summer before I launch a new wave of travel, I thought I’d scrape the bottom of the barrel with a discussion of what might seem to be the most banal of subjects but one which affects our daily lives all over the globe, at least if you are male. The issue concerns the activity of butt-wiping. I’ve calculated that I am good for about $100 a year of two-ply Charmin bath-tissue and, as I’ve spoken about this with others, believe that others are equally dissatisfied with both the time and effort required and the results. Considering that a good 5 minutes a day are dedicated to this activity, we are talking about close to 35 hours a year of butt-wiping. Considering that America offers the best prices on paper products, this is an even more significant expense elsewhere.
My Moslem friends don’t use toilet paper; instead they use a water hose and this might actually be more sensible (as well as more sanitary). In Japan, there are toilets that do this automatically; my hotel in Tokyo had one but I didn’t find it particularly useful. Lately I tried an experiment: using baby wipes, and I have been told that other people I know have found them helpful. However, I haven’t really found them to be helpful.
This is the end of this short but hopefully thought-provoking article. I don’t have any other suggestions. But if someone can recommend any innovations here, he or she might make a heckuva contribution to civilization as we know it.
Submitted to Metropolitan Diary at the New York Times:
Location: Broadway-line subway mid-morning. Following a sob-story from someone asking for money, he takes a few dollars and exits the train. I think for a minute and then say aloud: “OK, let’s take a quick survey. How many of you (a) believed him; (b) didn’t believe him; (c) Don’t know; (d) Don’t care.” I then repeated the choices and expected people to raise their hands or show some kind of response. Not one person gave any kind of response. I then said, “So no one responded. Tells you something about city life.” What does it tell you? It tells me that people on subways are very nervous and a bit scared. On the verge of comatose.
Other Topics in Brief:
Recession: I believe the Economist is correct: The market is still overvalued; the global economy is in recession and things will get worse before they get better. Read “Get a Parachute” in the edition dated August 25-31st. I plan to sell stock and sit on cash; I will buy back those stocks that have performed well over the past year at the beginning of next year if and when the market begins to recover.
Middle East: Sharon has managed to have the rest of Israel adopt his psychology: Resignation to protracted conflict, siege mentality and victimhood, and all other issues beyond day-to-day survival sidetracked. They will continue to play the game of attrition to keep the conflict at a certain level as long as Hamas remains the only alternative to Arafat; at the current course, US support is assured and the Arab World is neutered. The Palestinians have nothing to look forward to except the prospect of Arafat taking trips to China and phone calls from Shimon Peres, and the regional economy is being negatively affected (with political ramifications of course). Jordan, Lebanon and Egypt wish this mess would disappear. I will be visiting the region in early October and will report afterward.
